


Vampire Fangs and Candy Corn

by Parks and Fluff (GamblingDementor)



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Ficlet Collection, Game of Thrones References, Games, Gen, Halloween, Haunted Houses, Jack-o'-lanterns, M/M, Pumpkins, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4917547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/Parks%20and%20Fluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Halloween, this is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!</p><p>Collection of Halloween-related ficlets from prompts requested on tumblr (parksandfluff.tumblr.com). Featuring many pairings and fluffy spooky adventures during the creepiest month of the year!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tormenting clowns or other scary creatures at a haunted house (Andy/April)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April tries to crack down a haunted house employee.

"Do you get paid a lot to do this?" April asks. 

 

The caged zombie howls before her, baring his fangs, which are misshaped and disgusting. Sweet.

 

"Like, hundred bucks for the night? How does this work? Can I sign up and join you now?"

 

This time, he grunts and throws himself against the metal grid of its cage, as if it wanted to get out and attack her.

 

"Hey, I'm just asking!" she says. "No need to get rude."

 

"Hey, babe, have you seen the… _oh wow!_ "

 

Andy slowly joins her next to the zombie cage. He's so big he doesn't even need to climb onto a chair like she did to examine the zombie. Nothing weird here, she just wanted to study him, ignore his mojo, and try to make him uncomfortable. Who can blame her for that?

 

"Damn, have you seen his hands?" Andy asks incredulously. "And to think people get mad at _me_ for not washing mine after eating burgers! That thing hasn't washed its hands in years!"

 

"Andy, he's wearing make-up…"

 

"What? No it's not, I don't think so. Zombies don't wear make-up."

 

She can only smile at her goofball of a husband. And turns back to the zombie, trying to crack him.

 

"Is your mom, like, super proud of you now?"

 

The zombie growls again, but April feels his energy fading. Of course, it must not help that Andy is gluing his face all over the grid and staring at him with a big dumb grin that would make anyone giggle.

 

"D'you think they captured him live or do you think he was a baby zombie born in captivivity?" Andy asks.

 

Oh. It comes back to her. She _may_ have told him that the zombies in this haunted house were real zombies (because it's a little way away from their neighborhood but she really _really_ wanted to see it after hearing it was the spookiest haunted house in Pawnee), then forgotten about it until right now, and it's a bit late for the truth now, isn't it?

 

"I dunno. Were your mom and dad zombies, zombie?" She asks the beast pointedly.

 

He sighs. There it is, starting to get annoyed, a little bit. Just a little bit more…

 

"I think it can't talk," Andy says. " _Or maybe it only speaks zombie?!_ "

 

He goes on to grunt and whimper in what is, April admits, a fairly good imitation of what zombie speak would sound like.

 

"I think it's working babe!" Andy says excitedly. "Look, it's not that angry anymore!"

 

"Yeah, he's just a bored ugly little zombie now."

 

" _Oh my god,_ " the zombie cries out. "Can you just go on with the rest of the house and let me do my job?!"

 

April snickers. Mischief managed.

 

"Oh, wow, I'm so sorry, Mr Zombie!" Andy steps back, bowing respectfully.

 

"Yeah, right."

 

"I think we should leave it alone, babe," Andy whispers, but loud enough that April is sure the zombie must have heard.

 

"Yes, _please_!"

 

Andy grabs April's hand and leads her outside. She barely has the time to throw back a glare at the zombie with all the darkness of her soul contained in her eyes before they're outside.

 

"That was so fun!" Andy says.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, it was."

 

"Let's go do another one! But this one, one with people _dressed as_ zombies. I think real ones don't like to be bothered. And we should totally not bother them because of respect is so important."

 

"Sure, babe. Let's go find some people dress up as zombies we can mess with."

 

That's something she'll never tire of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	2. Carving Jack-O-Lanterns (Andy/April & Jack)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy got three pumpkins for the whole family to carve together.

As soon as Jack wakes up from his nap on the couch (he usually takes them in his own bed, but sometimes, April just wants to be very quiet and watch him sleep while she reads a book, and they just let him tire himself out in the living room) and he sees the pumpkins on the kitchen table, he starts running around the house shouting and laughing and even a hundred promises of snacks from Andy do little to calm him down.

"C'mere, baby boy! Come and help," April begs.Jack looks at her for a grand total of three seconds before running again."Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins!" he shouts.And who can blame him? Pumpkin is one of the very first words April taught him, and last year he was too little to realize anything, but now that he's turning two, he knows it's a special day, he knows it's special for him and for everyone, and he has every reason to be excited. Nevermind that Halloween is only next month and that they're just carving the pumpkins now."Which one d'you want, babe?" Andy asks.

 

He got three pumpkins for the three of them yesterday, choosing them carefully. April missed it because she was at work, but Andy sent her pictures every five seconds the whole time he was choosing the pumpkins and she got to see Jack's every reaction. From his marveling at the size of the bigger pumpkins (some as big as the whole of him) to his eyes widening with excitement when Andy let him hold a squash for their dinner, not mentioning his pure unimpeded joy when Andy bought him a Halloween-themed coloring book (he can't really hold up pencils or crayons properly yet, but scribbles are cute too, when they're from your own little monster). In all her pregnant bask of emotions, she almost teared up. Gross. 

"Gimme the big one, it'll be the Andy pumpkin.""Daddy pumpkin!" Jack shouts ecstatically.

 

Andy flexes his muscles as he hands over the bigger pumpkin, setting it in front of her − he never lets her carry anything these days, and she likes the show of it anyway. She snorts, but makes a mental note of asking him to do that again. Her man has got some fine arms.

"I'll make an April pumpkin, then! And Jackie can have his own personal jack-o-lantern!"As soon as Andy ceremoniously hands Jack his own little pumpkin, the toddler stops running around and stares at it with starry eyes. They make him sit on his little table (courtesy to Ron, who built Jack a whole set of toddler-sized furniture) with the pumpkin and a thick permanent black marker and let him go wild. It'll wash off if they rub him hard enough. Or it won't and he'll be a zebra forever. All the same to her.

 

She gets to carving her big, fat pumpkin, keeping an eye on her son from the corner of her eyes. If it has to be like Andy, it has to be cute. But it's Halloween, so it can't be too cute. She settles on a really twisted grin, which looks really creepy, but it also reminds her of Andy because Andy is _always_ smiling. Carving is harder than she remembers it. Maybe the pregnancy is making her more tired, maybe this pumpkin is particularly big (for it to be an Andy pumpkin, it has to), but she has to take a break at some point.

 

"Hey, monster, you want some pumpkin?"

 

Jack looks up at her, face and arms covered in ink, vastly more than the pumpkin itself. Good thing it's a non toxic marker. 

 

"Yeah!"

 

She hands him a little bit of mushy pumpkin flesh and he shoves it all into his mouth. Definitely Andy's child, this one.

 

"This is good pumpkin," Andy says, and April notices he's been stuffing his throat with literally all the pumpkin flesh he's been carving out. Well, there goes his second dinner. At least Champion won't eat it and make himself sick. At his age, it might be dangerous.

 

She tries to sneak a peek at what Andy is doing, but he immediately covers it with his hands. 

 

"No, babe, it's a surprise!"

 

"Andy, it's just a pumpkin."

 

"A surprise pumpkin!"

 

She shrugs and gets back to her own − trying to get the pumpkin's eyes to look like they bleed out − but as soon as she sits down, Andy lets out a small giggle of excitement and pulls her up to her feet to drag her to his side of the table and show her his beautiful work.

 

"I can't wait till you're done, I have to show you!" he shouts loud enough to make Jack shriek excitedly too (that boy is all about cheering on his father). "It's a pregnant pumpkin!"

 

She looks and there it is, a face that's as threatening as she'd hope, if the pumpkin is supposed to be her. It has big sharp teeth and eyes that frown like any April pumpkin should have. But the real treat is the part Andy is pointing to. A bump in the pumpkin, where her husband carved the outline of a smaller pumpkin shape. 

 

"It's a pregnant pumpkin," she repeats slowly.

 

"Yeah! Do you like it?"

 

And here it comes, what used to never happen, never at all, especially not carving pumpkins. Tears start rolling down her cheeks and before she knows it, she's throwing herself at her husband and hugging him as tight as she can, peppering kisses all over his face.

 

"I love it, babe. This is so… ugh…"

 

"Cute, right?"

 

"Exactly."

 

The word wouldn't fit on her lips, so she's glad he's said it. 

 

Later, when the three jack-o-lanterns (hers, and Andy's, and Jack's − they carved it out in the end, but wanted him to have the fun without risking to hurt himself) decorate the mantelpiece, and Andy is making dinner with all the pumpkin left, April watches Jack play and feels the small bump that's going to be her second little pumpkin, and wonders how many pregnant pumpkins Andy will make her over the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	3. Picking out pumpkins (Craig/Jean-Ralphio)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean-Ralphio helps Craig pick out the best pumpkins to decorate the Parks Department for Halloween. Set after s6. Established relationship between them.

"No, no, NO! These won't do, I'VE TOLD YOU LIKE A BILLION TIMES!"

 

Craig does this cute little eye-twitch he always does whenever he's losing it, the one that always makes him look like some kind of psycho. Jean-Ralphio loves that twitch, lives for that twitch. It's often a promise that things are going to get _cra_ \- _zy_ when they get home. Craig knows how to put the 'hot' in psychotic.

 

"Hey, sexy," Jean-Ralphio slurs against his ear, "no need to get all brash with me. What's wrong with these, huh?"

 

"I've _told_ you, they're too flat! Ugh! It's hopeless, we're _never_ gonna find the right ones!"

 

Jean-Ralphio takes a few step, pauses in front of pumpkins he's seen a hundred times before since they arrived.

 

"How about these, then?"

 

He pulls Craig toward the pile of pumpkins, pinching his ass with the motion. Craig looks back with his crazy eyes. Mmh. Delicious.

 

"Are you kidding me?" he grunts, as if Jean-Ralphio had just presented him a pile of rotting chicken carcasses.

 

"What?"

 

"These are too light, look at them! They're _at least_ three shades lighter than the ones Leslie Knope used last year!"

 

For three hours and a half now, Craig has been running around this pumpkin patch, looking at every single pumpkin the place has to offer. Jean-Ralphio has been bored almost instantly, and has spent all this time mostly texting (he's just struck up a pill deal for Mona-Lisa in Bloomington) or just going along with whatever Craig is ranting about. Anyone reaches a point when they've had enough, though, and Jean-Ralphio has reached that point about three hours and twenty-nine minutes ago.

 

"Look, big boy," he says and Craig gives him the warning crazy eyes (he does _not_ like to be called that outside the bedroom), "Who cares about the pumpkins? They're just decoration for the Parks Depaaaaaaartment! No one looks at those!"

 

He sings the middle part to try and relax Craig but it seems to have the opposite effect.

 

"I CARE! THE WHOLE FUTURE OF MY JOB IN THE PARK DEPARTMENT DEPENDS ON IT!"

 

"Now, now," Jean-Ralphio says and pulls Craig into a hug, "Who's a big angry boy?"

 

He rubs Craig's back soothingly and even if at first, Craig stands stiffly and refuses to return the embrace, he soon accepts it and even gives a hint of a smile when Jean-Ralphio lets him go with a kiss on the cheek. They hold hands and he starts to feel Craig's craziness slowly fade out. 

 

"Know what you'll have then, sexy?"

 

Another glare, but Jean-Ralphio knows when it's okay to push it and when it isn't.

 

"I could take these plump ones," he points, "and carve them in a way that makes them look thinner."

 

"Yeah, yeah."

 

"And maybe I could hit up Leslie Knope and ask her for advice if it doesn't turn out as well as I think it could!"

 

"Ask the hot one for advice, good thinking."

 

"And then I will _finally_ shine as the new director of the Parks Department!"

 

"Course you will!"

 

Craig calls out the farmer − the man left them here in the middle of the patch three hours ago when he realized that they wouldn't leave any time soon − and points to the pumpkins he's selected, asking for them to be delivered at City Hall by tomorrow. The farmer nods, accepts the money, and chases them away. On the ride home, Craig threatens to turn around five times, but Jean-Ralphio manages to convince him otherwise by various means as many times.

 

And when the Jack-O-Lanterns ornate the Parks Department, they look fly as hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	4. Picking out a costume (Benslie & triplets)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben presents his family his new Halloween costume.

Ben struts around in the living room, stopping here and there, showing off his hard work. He has never felt more proud. After three weeks of late night sewing and embroidering (he even brought special helping forces, the triplets, to help with that part), countless repairs and revisions, he's finally got it just the way he wanted. The day before Halloween, his costume is all done.

 

"So, what do you think, babe?"

 

Leslie's mouth falls open, she's about to say something… then she doesn't, thinking better of it. She looks left. Sonia nods. She looks right. Stephen holds up his thumbs. She looks behind. Westley smiles. She looks at Ben.

 

"What am I looking at?" she asks, dumbfounded.

 

"I'm Daario Naharis!" Ben says, as if he couldn't believe she was asking.

 

"Daario What-haris?"

 

"Mom!" Stephen yelps. "Do you not know who Daario is?!"

 

"Obviously, she doesn't," Sonia states.

 

"Dany's lover? Captain of the Stormcrows?" Ben asks.

 

"She had a thing for him ever since they met, how could you not know who he is?" Stephen adds, deeply offended.

 

"Come on," Westley says and pats his mother's shoulder. "I'm sure you remember him."

 

After eight seasons of watching Game of Thrones with him, Ben would have thought Leslie would remember a recurring character such as Daario… but then he realizes that she's a show viewer. Of course she wouldn't know who  _Daenerys'_ s lover is.

 

"Oh, erm, Les, I think you may remember him as Khaleesi's boyfriend…"

 

Leslie's brows knit, deep in thought.

 

"Khaleesi's bo… Oh my god, Ben, you look nothing like Hot Stuff!"

 

The triplets snicker and Ben suddenly wishes he'd shown Leslie his costume without three teenagers to witness it.

 

" _Hot Stuff_  looks like this in the books," Stephen says, barely able to hold in a laugh.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, this is an incredibly accurate costume," Sonia says and hands Leslie an illustration Ben got inspiration from. "Check this out."

 

He watches her reaction. She seems mostly confused, but he knows that's not the only thing on her mind. He has had to admit that the silks he's sewn are rather tight, and as flattering as they could ever be on a 57 year old man. After all, Daario Naharis breaks all the maidens' heart.

 

"He seems to be… erm… How to describe it?"

 

"Daario's hot," Sonia says plainly.

 

All eyes turn to her.

 

"Well, not  _you_ ," she tells Ben, and Leslie pouts in disagreement, "Just the character."

 

"Is the… the gold tooth necessary?"

 

"Oh, great, you noticed!" Ben grins. "Yes, yes it is."

 

"And the, erm, the beard…  _s_  ?"

 

Ben palms the fake beard that's glued perfectly, not too tight, not too loose (courtesy to Westley's gentle care). It took ages to part into three and get it to stay that way, but he's got a hang of it and even stole a bit of Leslie's hairspray to straighten it.

 

"You like it? That's the best part, right?"

 

"Erm…"

 

Ben has rarely felt this proud. Just being able to embody one of his favorite side-characters is an achievement in and of itself. Sharing it with his family is just the cherry on top. 

 

"But, erm… Does it have to be blue?"

 

"Ugh,  _Mom_ , have you even read the books?" Stephen frowns.

 

"As a matter of fact, I did not, thank you very much."

 

"You should!"

 

"I don't know, I mean, your costume is great, babe, but I kind of like Hot Stuff as he is…"

 

" _This_  is him as he is, Mom," Westley says. "The books are always the real source."

 

If he wasn't wearing high quality make-up, Ben might have teared up out of pride for his beloved son.

 

"Blue beards and all? And, erm, are these naked women?"

 

Ben takes out his weapons − an  _arakh_  and a stiletto, both handcrafted by a fellow LARP enthusiast − and swings them around to show off the hilts, beautifully carved as matching naked women.

 

"Beautiful, huh?"

 

"Yeaaaaaah… I could do without the objectification."

 

"Daario isn't the cruelest, but he's not what I would call a feminist," Sonia says. 

 

"It's an accurate costume, I didn't say a social justice icon," Ben says.

 

"I still can't believe Hot Stuff is a blue bearded pirate, though…"

 

"I still can't believe he  _isn't_ , on the show! Blue beards are  _awesome_ ," Stephen says.

 

"You, young man, are not allowed to grow a blue beard. Let's make that clear right now."

 

"I wasn't gonna, Mom! I'm just saying they're cool."

 

"Cooler than your peach fuzz, that's for sure," Sonia smirks.

 

"No one asked  _you_!"

 

"Okay, all right," Ben intervenes. "Let's maybe not insult our sibling's facial hair when I'm showing you the greatest costume of all times."

 

"Sorry…"

 

"Anyway, great, right?"

 

"I'm sure the Congress will love it, babe."

 

"Yeah, you might make national news, Dad!"

 

Naturally, he doesn't, but his costume ends up being quite the sensation amongst his Dunshire buddies, and if impressing nerds isn't just the reward he'd hoped for, what is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	5. Helping host a neighborhood “Safe Halloween” type event (Leslie/Ann)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie has asked for Ann's help to hold a safe Halloween town meeting. Established relationship AU.

After a quick scan of the room, Ann takes a seat with a smile on her lips. Great turnout. A few dozen people came to the meeting, and almost no one looks gross. For a town meeting, that's really the best they could have achieved. She turns to Leslie, who nods in response, prompting her to start.

 

"Erm, hey! Hello, everyone," she begins.

 

Faces turn to her and she does her best to introduce the night as well as Leslie deserves.

 

"Thank you all for coming, so many of you, that's just amazing."

 

She receives a few kindly nods of acknowledgment, but mostly blank stares. Oh boy.

 

"So, erm, we've called you here to share a few guidelines we thought might be helpful for a safer Halloween?"

 

One lady stands up.

 

"Hello. I'm a mother of three and I was wondering why my kids didn't get any candy last year when I forbid them to go trick-or-treating."

 

"Didn't you just explain why…"

 

Another citizen stands up.

 

"I want to know why only twenty kids knocked my door last year. The year before, it was fifty-six. Is it because of my new dog?"

 

"Erm, I'm so sorry, ma'am, but this is…"

 

She turns to Leslie for help, completely lost for words. She doesn't think she'll ever be as good with crazy Pawneeans as Leslie is. Yet another reason to love her.

 

"Hello, everyone. I'm Leslie Knope, from the Parks Department, and I'll take over from Ms. Perkins now."

 

A few of them nod with a smile. Most of these people already know Leslie from all the town meetings she seems to be holding every single day. Ann is happy to sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

"We all want this year's Halloween to be safe and enjoyable for everyone, don't we?"

 

The crowd mutter their approval.

 

"This is why I've come up with a few guidelines that I think might make this whole holiday for fun for you, for your children, and generally better for Pawnee!"

 

She presses a button and a big screen unrolls from the ceiling. With a remote control, she starts a presentation: the first slide reads _Safety Tips for a Better Pawnee: How you can make Halloween safer and better_.

 

"I've divided this into two simple steps: spotting suspicious individuals and neutralizing them."

 

Ann smiles at the audience. Count on Leslie for greatly prepared presentations. 

 

"Now, obviously, our focus should be on our enemy number one…"

 

There's a few laughs and gasps in the audience as Leslie switches to the next slide. Ann turn around… to be face to face with a huge fullscreen picture of a blonde teenage boy. Between Leslie's serious frown and the boy's face, Ann quickly puts two and two together.

 

" _Greg Pikitis_? Really, Leslie?" She sighs.

 

"Of course Greg Pikitis!" Leslie shouts out, her face all scrunched up. "Now, if you see this little… crap turd, I personally recommend the use of brutal…"

 

"Oh my god, Leslie!" Ann cries out. "We are not having a meeting about Greg Pikitis!"

 

She tears the remote away from Leslie's grasp and tries to go to the next slide, but quickly realizes that all slizes are various pictures of Greg Pikitis, some of them clearly taken from a distance, stalking him. She gives up and unplugs Leslie's computer from the projector. When she turns to the crowd, they are looking at the both of them expectantly. Leslie pouts.

 

"I'm so sorry, erm… There seems to have been a misunderstanding on what the presentation was supposed to be about…"

 

She glares at Leslie, who looks away in disgrace. Ann _knows_ she should have expected this. Every single year…

 

"But the confusion is gone, now, and Ms. Knope is going to give you _real_ safety tips."

 

Leslie is still pouting, but as soon as she stands up to speak again, it's like she'd actually prepared for this and wasn't improvising on the spot. Always as impressive, always as eloquent. Ann could watch her go on for hours about trivial details like the proper curfew for trick-or-treating children or the right amount of candy to give your child every day. By the end of the meeting, she's actually managed to answer every single answer, or at least respond appropriately enough for the citizens to think she's answered them. 

 

"Well, Ann, I don't wanna say you'll be to blame if Greg Pikitis takes over Pawnee this year, but…"

 

"Let's maybe not talk about that if you want to sleep in a bed tonight, Knope."

 

Leslie keeps it inside (just barely) but Ann senses that she's only plotting her next move against Pikitis. She'll have to let that one go by just not asking. To her credit, Leslie actually manages to keep her plans against the teenager to herself the rest of the night. And if she starts talking about her plans in her sleep, it has the merit of being cute and Ann can't quite hold it against her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	6. Lost in a corn maze (Andy/April + Benslie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie takes her family (including Andy and April) to the Harvest Festival in 2020.

The sad thing about living in Washington DC is that Ben and Leslie don't get to go back to Pawnee that often. The good thing about living in Washington DC is that when they do go back to Pawnee, they enjoy it so much Leslie makes ten scrapbooks out of it every time. Even more when Andy and April join their party.

 

"Harvest Festival, here we come!" Andy roars, grabbing the first triplet he sets his hands on (which happens to be Wesley) and lifting him onto his shoulders. Wesley giggles and grabs onto Andy's ears. At five, he's a little big to be carried like that but Andy is 'super strong' as he puts it before Ben even says anything .

"What do you wanna do first?" Leslie asks. "There's the Wamapoke exposition, naturally, maybe we could say hi to Ken, but I really wanna try the cotton candy in the… ugh… former Eagleton part of the Harvest Fest. And, I mean, there's always the rides, but I think the triplets are a bit too short to ride, and of course, the corn maze is always fun…"

 

"CORN MAZE!" Stephen shrieks and really, who could be cruel enough to refuse him anything with that kind of enthusiasm?

They all set to the huge corn maze and Ben has to admit that, if it weren't for April glaring at him from time to time, threatening murder with (un)subtle hand gestures, this would feel like a real family day out."Fun fact about corn! Did you know the Incas invented corndogs?" Andy says as they take their first turn into the maze."That sounds wildly inaccurate," Ben replies."No it's not, _Ben_ ," April says, "Andy saw it on the Internet."

 

Ben sighs. By now he knows better than arguing with either of them. Besides, he can't deny that today is actually pretty fun. The Parks and Recreation Department is more than holding its own since Leslie left: the 2020 Harvest Festival is a huge success. 

 

"Do you think we could get lost in here?" Stephen asks.

 

"Not if we keep turning left," Ben says.

 

He explains how if you always turn in the same direction, if you keep your hand on one wall (from his seat on Andy's shoulders, Wesley immediately reaches out with his little arm to touch the corn row on the left), you can get to the other end of any labyrinth, every time. You just have to be persistent. Sonia asks him to prove it and they stop for Ben to draw a small maze on a piece of paper that Leslie produces out of some pocket in her pantsuits (she _always_ has something to write on her. Always.). Andy even gets Wesley down for the boy to have a look. 

 

This is what Ben likes, really. A nice day out with his family. Leslie soon starts giving a passionate explanation about Pawnee corn, which turns into a love declaration for the city, which then becomes a history lesson, and before long, all three kids are staring at their mother, open-mouthed like only little kids can be, listening to her, and a little bit to Ben when he chimes in with details Leslie forgets. He does miss living in Pawnee, this unique and magical town where he met Leslie, where everything began, and Washington parks will never be as beautiful as the Pawnee Commons to Leslie, so they try to make the most out of every visit. And right now making the most out of this maze. 

 

At some point, as the kids are crouching beside him and they're looking at some sort of special beetle, Ben is about to ask Leslie what it is (she knows all of the Pawnee fauna by heart), he notices that she's looking around quite alarmed.

 

"What's going on, babe?"

 

"We lost the kids," she says nervously.

 

Ben and all three children look at each other quizzically. He doesn't need to do a headcount to know that they're all here.

 

"We're all here, Mummy," Wesley says. 

 

"No, I mean… Ugh. April's missing. And Andy."

 

"Oh. _Those_ kids," Ben says.

 

"Yes, those kids!"

 

Those thirty-some year old kids. Well, if that's how Leslie wants to call them… Looking around, he realizes that indeed, there is no sign of Leslie's almost daughter and her goofy husband.

 

"Maybe they got tired of the maze and went somewhere else?" he suggests.

 

"Mmmh, maybe…"

 

Ben tries to keep on exploring the maze but it becomes obvious after a while that Leslie is really starting to get worried about Andy and April. Every intersection they come across, she looks in all directions, and she's not contributing to the discussion nearly as much as she did before. Finally, Ben can't stand to see her so alarmed and sighs.

 

"Leslie, do you wanna look for them?"

 

"Yes, good idea, I've made a plan already, you and Wesley go left, he has an eye for details like you, I go right with Sonia and Stephen, we'll cover more ground this way and use our strengths, let's go! Run!"

 

Before Ben even gets time to react, she's grabbed the hand of the two triplets and ran away with them. Ben looks at Wesley and they both shrug, then continue their walk through the maze.

 

In the end, this is just actually pretty fun. Instead of a family day out, the morning turns into some one-on-one time with Wesley, who has always been a tad more shy than the other two little tyrants. Together, they talk about books, about Pawnee, about Leslie, about baseball, and Ben is almost sad when finally, after half an hour of wandering around the maze, they come across Andy and April. Wesley sighs in relief.

 

Relief, though, is probably the last emotion down the list of feelings he has when he spots them. Disgust, fear, a deep desire to run away, a complete lack of understanding… He pins his hand over Wesley's eyes and coughs to catch their attention. Lying on the ground, April all over him, Andy breaks their rather _passionate_ embrace and looks up.

 

"Oh, hey, Ben! And li'l buddy. Wesley, right? Red shirt, that's Wesley."

 

Wesley nods.

 

"Andy, erm… Leslie was looking for you guys."

 

"Oh, yeah, so sorry," Andy says and sits up, dragging April with him. "We were… erm, well… we wanted to… April thought…"

 

" _I know what you wanted to do_ ," Ben hisses between his teeth.

 

"Jeez, relax, Ben," April says with a smirk, "We were just making out."

 

"Daddy, what's going on?"

 

"Nothing!" Ben splutters. "Nothing is going on! Absolutely no one is putting their hands underneath anyone's clothes and everything is perfectly fine! We're all going back to find Mommy and Steve and Sonia, all of us having a behavior that's completely fine and not at all inappropriate."

 

Andy chuckles, but he still stands up to follow Ben, pulling April to her feet with him, and they start walking. 

 

"Thanks a lot, _Ben_ ," April spits out sourly, but then Wesley slips his little hand inside hers and she can't help but smile.

 

The rest of the way back to wherever Leslie is, Ben makes sure that there is at least five feet between Andy and April at all times, just for safety. It's not that hard, with April chatting it up with Wesley (he can be a real chatterbox when he's around people he trusts, and Auntie April is a favorite of his) and Andy trying to jump higher than the corn rows to spot Leslie. It's like he's forgotten that not ten minutes ago, he was on the verge of being extremely inappropriate in public with his wife, in the middle of a corn maze with hundreds of children running around. Ben hasn't forgotten.

 

But when Leslie finally appears around a corner and pulls April into the most crushing hug ever seen on earth, Ben can't find it in him to tell on them. It's not like Leslie has never walked in on them making out, anyway. Or the rest of the Parks Department. And probably the bigger part of the Pawnee population. Possibly most of Washington too. It definitely wasn't the first time for him and it most likely won't be the last. Andy and April will always find a way. Best he can do is protect his children's innocence. 

 

At the end of the day, though, the same scenario has happened seven times, and if Stephen, Sonia and Wesley had any shred of innocence left, at five years old, well, they've just been robbed of it all. As Andy puts it, love always finds a way. A way to make out hardcore at a public event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	7. Being anti-Halloween (Ron & Leslie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron hates Halloween.

Ron does not like Halloween. Eating candy is for children, not for men. And even as a child, Ron was always too busy working to eat candy. Dressing up is a form of lying. He never trick-or-treated as a boy because if there is one thing he hates more than dressing up, it's talking to people, and going house to house sounds like the opposite of his idea of celebration. Asking for candy is a whole lot like begging, which Ron despises. He does not celebrate Halloween. 

 

His first year as director of the Parks and Recreation Department, the Rec Center calls him to know what's planned for Halloween. Nothing is. Jerry Gergich wishes Ron a happy Halloween on October 31st and Ron has half a mind to get him fired. Then he tells himself that Jerry might get replaced with someone who actually gets stuff done. And if there's one thing Ron does not want, it's for his department to get anything done.

 

That's before Leslie Knope, though. Her first Halloween as Deputy Director, Ron warns her that he does not like Halloween and that he refuses to let the department organize anything. It's like Leslie hasn't heard a word of what he's said. Or rather, she's ignored it. Next thing he knows, the department is filled with decorations and snacks and banners. When he says he never gave permission for any of this, she laughs and hands him a bag containing a pirate costume that is both exactly the right size and sober enough that he secretly likes it. She begs him to put it on the next day because she has an amazing day all planned out for the kids of the City Hall employees and she'd love him to be there. He wants to refuse, he really does, because he hates Halloween, but then she tempts him with a promise of bacon wrapped shrimps on the snack table and so he shows up the next day, feeling like the most ridiculous man ever in his new pirate outfit.

 

One year, Leslie corners him with a huge picture of a little boy that she must have had custom printed. She claims that the child is going to vandalize the statue of an ex mayor in Ramsett Park and that she needs his help to catch him. Ron tells her that he does not believe in arresting children for disrespecting political figures: Greg Pikitis should be rewarded instead. She still manages to enroll him in her stalking, somehow, and they spend the whole night not talking to each other outside in the park. It's the best Halloween Ron has ever had.

 

Once, years later, April asks him if he likes Halloween. He answers that he does not. She says it's too bad, because Halloween falls right on Andy and her thirteenth day of dating and they were thinking of doing something special, maybe a party. Ron suggests they stay at home and do something useful like building a chair or fixing a radiator. She follows at least one of these suggestions: judging by the grin Andy has plastered on his face the whole day after, and even longer, Ron doesn't think they celebrated Halloween with woodworking or plumbing. Not that he cares. He has no business caring about his coworkers' personal lives. Even April.

 

The next year, the two kids do organize a party and Ron finds that saying no to April is hard. He puts on the costume Leslie gave him. He never bought another one. Over the years of being forced into Halloween celebrations, it has become his Halloween costume. He'd never buy a different one himself: he hates Halloween. Or does he? He spends the night fixing everything wrong in April's house. A perfect night. For a second, he wonders if he could make a habit out of it: children trick-or-treat, could he go door to door and offer repair services?  Then he remembers that it would involve talking to people, helping them, and overall being in far too much contact with others than he likes. He decides that he'd rather spend Halloween his preferred way in the future, woodworking at home.

 

That future never really happens, though. If Ron believed in destiny, he would say that it's playing tricks on him. But he doesn't, so he supposes that it's just plain happenstance that he spends the next Halloween out in the streets with Diane and her kids. He even accepts to take care of them for her when she is called for an emergency. And everything turns to the worst. Zoey breaks Ivy's tiara, Ron breaks Zoey's tiara, and the two little girls burst into tears. Ron is vastly overwhelmed and Halloween really is the worst holiday ever, once again. It started in such a promising way − but that had nothing to do with Halloween and everything to do with the charming Diane. The tiara disaster is enough to convince him once and for all that there is nothing good to ever come out of Halloween. 

 

That thought is confirmed the next year as Leslie is voted out of office. Ron never believed in the worth of the City Council, but he does believe in Leslie's worth as a person and although he hasn't told her, he's deeply sorry for her. That year, Leslie isn't the heart of the party like she usually is during Parks Department organized feasts. She doesn't go from person to person to spook them or tell them Halloween related jokes or check on them. Rather, she's moping and Ron finds himself wishing for her usual enthusiasm for the holiday. He feels like there's enough hatred for Halloween in him for the both of them.

 

The next year on Halloween, Ron is looking over the plans of the recently started Morningstar project when Diane pops at the office and offers him to go trick-or-treating with the girls later tonight. He'd rather not, so she kisses his cheek and tells him it's alright. His coworkers say there's a party organized in the park next to the construction site and ask him if he would like to join them after work. Ron shakes his head and hopes no one has noticed that he avoids activities ran in that park. He knows who runs them. When he comes home, Diane is just about to leave. Ron stays home with John. In a cupboard, his pirate costume is taking the dust and Ron tells himself that he will probably never wear it again. It was silly anyway. A grown man dressed up as something he isn't. Unbidden, the question runs through his mind: what is Leslie doing for Halloween this year exactly? Is she having a good time? Then he tells himself that she'd never ask herself the same about him. A glass of Lagavulin in one hand, John cradled in his other arm, Ron rocks him softly and tries to forget about her former workplace proximity associate. She's made her choice. He's rolled with it. And more than ever, Ron hates Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	8. Being anti-Halloween (Triplets)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three times one of the triplets was against Halloween.

Wesley is against Halloween the year they're five. He's seen the scary shop windows and the spooky costumes, and he still has shivers just thinking about them. For a few weeks, Stephen has been begging for ghost stories at bed time and Wesley hasn't been able to sleep properly since that started. When Uncle Andy asks him what he's going to be for Halloween, he says he's not going to be anything because he's staying at home. Uncle Andy says he's gonna miss out on Halloween, but that's exactly the point. He's too scared for trick-or-treating or, god forbid, for haunted houses. Uncle Andy has a solution, though. He _always_ does.

Wesley is going to spend Halloween not just with Stephen (dressed as Sokka) and Sonia (dressed as Pearl) but also with Auntie April (dressed as an ear-stealing witch zombie) and − most importantly − with Johnny Karate. Perched on top of the broad shoulders of his favorite uncle, Wesley feels invincible. No monster can reach him, and even if they did, Johnny Karate would just scare them away with his anti-creep song and they'd leave Wesley alone. Also, somehow everyone gives Uncle Andy tons of candy when he's dressed up as Johnny Karate. He says that it's because he's extremely famous. Celebrity or not, he makes Wesley realize that scary things aren't quite as scary when you have people you love around you to protect you.Stephen is against Halloween the year they're eleven. The year before, he couldn't _wait_ to help put on the house decorations and begged to do it even in September, but this year, he doesn't even mention them. When Auntie April asks him what they're doing for Halloween, he grunts and asks if they can please not talk about it. Auntie April is always very adamant about giving anyone their space when they need it, so she drops the subject. However, she asks if he'll come to Jack's first birthday party and he reluctantly accepts, but only if she doesn't tell anyone and no one knows he's hanging out with a _baby_. April says she's been hanging out with a baby every day for a year now and it's not _that_ bad.Stephen has never been one for keeping secrets, and this one has been heavy on his heart for a few weeks, so he just spills it out even though Auntie April hasn't pressed him any further. The reason he doesn't want to celebrate Halloween is because other people from his new middle school said it was lame, and that only babies celebrate Halloween. And the fact that Jack, an actual baby, is having a party on Halloween kind of gives them a point in Stephen's mind.As soon as she hears that, Auntie April asks for names of the bullies, with a promise of pretending to be a teacher and call their parents to ask if they feel better since their raging diarrhea at school, but Stephen says it's not really going to help. In the end, what helps is April showing him her diploma in Halloween studies, as well as pictures from many Halloween celebrations she participated in or even organized over the years. Auntie April is nothing like a baby: her and Uncle Andy are the very definition of cool. If they like Halloween, then Halloween is cool. End of story.Sonia is against Halloween the year they're fourteen. She's been kept busy with the new duties that came with high school and now, two days before a small party at her friend Dana's house, she's costume-less. When in doubt, her dad always says that she can either ask them, or look it up on the Internet. Considering he's planning a Star Trek Pumpkin Party, as he's decided to call it, he's a tad too busy for her to want to disturb her. The Internet proves to be a vast disappointment, though. After browsing it for costumes for about ten minutes, the only conclusion Sonia can draw is that humankind is deeply flawed. Page after page, all she can find are costumes that uncover far more skin than she's ever been willing to show at this time of the year. And not only that, but only the girls section of the websites. It's not like Sonia is surprised, not really. She's seen many girls wear revealing costumes in the past, girls her age too. She'd always thought it was a personal choice on their part, though, and one that she respected as much as any other choice. Girls making their own decisions isn't the same as the companies making the choices for them, though, and Sonia is appalled.

 

When her mother comes home a while later, she finds Sonia still hunched over her laptop. Ensues a great discussion about sexualization that Sonia wishes they wouldn't _have_ to have, yet every single costume shop proves her wrong. She might not find a costume at all and after her growth spurt this year, putting one from the previous years is not an option. In the end, Mom tells her not to worry because she's got it under control and years of living with Leslie Knope have taught Sonia that, when her mom says that, the best thing is to just trust her, even though it's not in Sonia's nature to not take charge.

 

The next day, her mom surprises her with a gorgeous handcrafted costume at breakfast. She's laid it plain on the table for the guys to see − all three of them turn green with envy. The embroidery on the dress is to die for, and the sword is perfectly balanced and right her size. Sonia has no idea how she even got a sword in one night. She's quite sure, however, that Leslie made the outfit herself. And no amount of hugs and thank you's will ever be enough. She makes quite an impression at Dana's party and all of it is thanks to her mother. You can always count on Leslie Knope to save the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	9. Playing cliché games (Tomcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tom and Lucy find out which one is better at horseshoes

For Tom, Halloween events are another opportunity to advertise for his business. Where other people see children and even adults having fun getting spooked in haunted houses and playing Halloween games, Tom sees future clients that might be interested in his amazing Italian eatery. He has little interest in these activities as such, but they promise a great showcase for business and if there's something Tom loves, it's money. Also, Lucy loves them, so if money wasn't already a good enough reason, his wife would be.

"C'mon, Tommy, I _really_ wanna see you run away scared to death in this one! I've heard it's the creepiest in Pawnee!""No can do, booboo, I know who all the guys dressed as zombies are, and they're already regulars at Tom's Bistro, Fast Food edition. I can't lose time there."She smirks and swats his arm."Or you're afraid of embarrassing yourself when you squeal like a chicken.""I do  _not_ do that!""Do, too!"She nudges him playfully, and when he pouts, kisses his cheek."Okay, at least come play the games, then!" She takes him by the hand and drags him to Ramsett Park, where Craig has organized all sorts of activities for the citizens of Pawnee.In South Carolina, Halloween games were a _big_ deal, but one that Tom never really enjoyed. In Pawnee, somehow, they're an even _bigger_ deal, in no small part due to Leslie's legacy in the Parks department. Everywhere that meets the eye, there's pumpkins and stands and people dressed up and haunted shacks and games. Tom shudders.

 

"Oh, horseshoes, I love this one!" Lucy says excitedly. "My dad and I used to play when I was little."

 

Lucy gets them to the horseshoes game, but frowns when the person in charge hands her the actual horse shoes.

"Why are they so small?"

 

"It's _mini_ -horseshoes here, baby girl." He points to the sign that reads 'Li'l Sebastian's favorite game'.

After a few throws, it becomes rather obvious that Lucy has a far better arm than Tom and he pouts in all his defeat."You could at least have pretended!"

"Sorry, Tommy, no cheating."

"Not fair!" 

 

After a rematch, and another one, and five more, there's no denying it. Lucy is and always will be better at this than he is. To make up for taunting him mercilessly, she slips a business card for Tom's Bistro in everyone's hand congratulating her for winning the prize of the night. And when there is a flow of new clients the next week, he buys her the biggest bunch of flowers to thank her for making him lose so many times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	10. Holding a seance (April & Orin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April knows exactly how she wants to spend the money her grandma gave her for her seventh birthday.

The man at the counter eyes her dubiously, turning the bill April gave him over and over, as if checking for a fault that she knows isn't there. She sighs. Finally, he shakes his head with a low chuckle that sounds vaguely taunting and just pockets it.

 

"All right, I guess there's nothing illegal about it. You're mighty young to get into this but who am I to judge? I sell this sh… erm, this crap."

 

She nods. She's tried to look older than her seven years old but it seems the employee of the store that sells occult stuff in Eagleton saw right through her. Oh well. As long as he gives her the good stuff, he can judge all he wants. 

 

"Right, so here it is. I'm giving you beginners stuff only. Don't bite off more than you can chew."

 

She scowls at that (she's perfectly able to deal with the big stuff, thank you very much) but he doesn't notice or worse, think it's cute. She knows adults tend to think about her glares as cute and she hates it. 

 

"Thanks," she says and reaches up to the counter with some difficulty. Why does everything have to be so high?

 

When her abuela Roberta gave her a crisp hundred dollar bill for her birthday, April knew immediately what she wanted to spend it on. She spent the next few months looking through ads in the magazines, staring at shop windows. She made up her mind. There would be no buying games or clothes like her parents suggested. She had one thing in mind and that was what her money went to. Nothing else. Or maybe she'd get a bag of sour candy and vampire teeth to freak out her dad but that's all.

 

And now she has it. Sure, she had to go through loops. Only a bookshop in the next town had it and Mom hates it when she takes the bus on her own, but it was all worth it. She has it now. Her own secondhand copy of "Spirits: how to find them, how to tame them, Volume 1".

 

The date she plans is October 31st. At first she thought she'd do this alone, but she's reached the chapter "Security measures" and it clearly states that you shouldn't try to summon spirits on your own. It also says that the person helping you should be an adult, as should you, but April chooses to ignore that part and asks Orin. He looks at her in his Orin way that usually means yes. 

 

She briefly considers bringing Natalie along, but thinks better of it. She's just a three year old. That's basically a baby. And she might cry and scare the spirits away. There is absolutely no risk of Orin crying, ever, and April is too brave and fearless for that, so just the two of them is fine. Plus, Orin is her best friend, if your only friend can be your best friend, and it makes sense to ask just him.

 

"Okay," she says when the day has come. It's eight in the evening and she's still dressed as a whale hunting witch from trick-or-treating. She was supposed to be back by now, but she can't just go looking for spirits during day time. "Do you think it's dark enough?"

 

Orin is crouching on the other side of the tomb they've set the book and candles on and is staring at her. His vampire costume looks super creepy, she's told him so, and hopefully he'll keep wearing it even without the excuse of Halloween.

 

"Yeah, it is," she confirms when Orin nods. "So, erm, how does this work again…"

 

She turns a few pages (that one page with the illustration is her favorite) and finds the place she wanted.

 

"To pursue the bonding with poltergeists and other spirits," she reads, butting on the word "poltergeist", her finger keeping the line, "Gather by twilight in your local graveyard. What does twilight mean again?"

 

Orin stares at her.

 

"Yeah, you're right, it doesn't matter."

 

She skims over the boring stuff to find the paragraph she's circled.

 

"For better and quicker results, place six candles in a cross pattern. Spirits are inclined to recognize the motif and consider you their… erm, their friend."

 

Orin gives a slight shake of his head. She sighs.

 

"Okay, it doesn't say friend, it says master, but I really wanna be friends with them!"

 

He shrugs gently, as if he understood her pain.

 

"Thanks, Orin."

 

A nod. The night is starting to get chilly and April closes her robes a bit tighter.

 

"The incantation needs be said loud and clear with no fear in your heart. Repeat these exact words…"

 

She is about to say the Latin words neatly written in a beautiful cursive font on her page when a cracking noise comes from behind and makes Orin turn pale. Slowly, fearfully, she turns around to come face to face with an old man. His face is greasy white and he looks like he is ready to gobble them up.

 

"Are you a ghost?" she asks with her tiny high-pitched voice that she hates.

 

"I'll haunt you if you don't get out of this cemetery right this instant, young lady! This is no place for kids! Shoo!"

 

She barely has the time to pick up the book − Orin is already backing away, the candles forgotten, because the old man is starting to wave his cane around and if there's one thing April doesn't want, it's a whooping. Without a glance back, she runs far far away, out of the graveyard. 

 

"That was…" she pants, out of breath, when they're finally out of there, in the street. "That was _fun_."

 

Orin re-drapes his cloak properly and nods. 

 

"Wanna go back to trick-or-treating and try this again when he's asleep?"

 

He makes a face.

 

"Yeah, you're right. I hate trick-or-treating. Too much talking to people."

 

He nods.

 

"Do you wanna go steal the candy from the cool kids and pretend you're a real vampire so they can't fight back?"

 

He bares his fangs and hisses.

 

"Well, then, let's go!"

 

Befriending and taming spirits will wait for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	11. Hosting a seance (Leslie/April)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gov Buds college AU. April invites Leslie to a group conversation with a ghost.

Leslie hasn't dated around that much since she's moved to college, just a couple dates here and there, but she feels like her standards of what's normal and what isn't have dropped considerably. Three years ago, she would have been appalled if a guy had told her her hair was the color of fresh butter and asked if he could lick it. Now, it's happened twice already and she just chose to ignore it. Similarly, she would have felt at least a moderate amount of surprise if, for a third date, a girl had told her she wanted to hunt down a haunting spirit, yet now, reading April's text, she really can't see a problem with it.

That is, until she actually arrives at April's place. And sees who is involved."Oh my god, Orin's here?!""Oh, you know Orin? He's been hosting these with me for years now.""Why didn't you tell me you were friends with Orin?!"April pauses, throws a glance at her creepy friend who stares blankly ahead of him, not acknowledging her or anyone, then turns back to Leslie.

"You never told me you knew him."

 

"Met him here and there," Leslie grunts. "Never of my own volition."

 

"He's a good friend."

 

"Mmh."

 

Leslie tries her best to hide her reserve against Orin, she really does. Or maybe she doesn't. But at least she says nothing and the small group comprised of April and her, as well as other creepy or non-creepy friends, sit down to start the seance.  _The things I do for love_ , she thinks, although it's still a bit early to talk about love for a girl she's just recently started dating. Crush is more like it. April has the cutest doe eyes and the softest skin and adorable cheeks that she refuses to have pinched, and ever since they met, she hasn't left Leslie's mind.

 

"Let's get this over with already," she says.

 

It turns out a seance _with Orin_ is every bit as weird as one might expect, unsurprisingly enough. And all the other people April seems to be friends with are strange, too. From the two gay guys making snarky comment every time something happens to the girl with half her head shorn off, not to mention the girl with the dead eyes who looks like she could be April's sister, this is far from Leslie's usual crowd. 

 

The way this works is that they are all sitting around a table in circle. At the center is a big round board with letters and numbers all around the rim. On it, a tile that everyone sets one finger on, and supposedly, spirits make it move towards the letters to form words and messages. 

 

"F… R… E… A… K… S…" April reads. "Freaks?"

 

"This must be talking about you and your girl, April!" One of the guys says, the one with fair hair who would be vaguely cute looking if he wasn't so cynical.

"Shut up, _Ben_!" April elbows him hard.

Leslie sighs. The rest of the so-called messages from the dead aren't any better. "Dorks", "Creepy blood", "Ass", "Vampire", this ghost haunting April's apartment certainly has a unique set of vocabulary. Add to that the dusty smell of incense and the dim light of candles, and above all Orin's stupid face in front of Leslie, and you've got yourself a completely weird evening. Leslie tries to pretend she isn't bored or freaked out, but it's starting to be really hard and she's not sure she can do it much longer. But then…

"W… A… F… F… L… E… S," April spells out as the tile is moved under their pointing fingers, "Waffles."

Of all things spirits were ever to communicate, "waffles" was never on Leslie's radius. She eyes April suspiciously but can't catch her eyes.

"Waffles?" April's sister asks tauntingly.

 

"You were here, Nat, you saw that's what it spelled."

  
"Why would it say waffles?"

April shrugs.

"Waffles are nice. Warm and sweet and kindhearted and generous and patient."

People stare at her blankly. Under the table, April's hand finds its way against Leslie's and intertwines their fingers.

"I don't think I understand this spirit," the other boy says. Orin nods with his weird dumb face.

"I dunno, guys," April says, "Let's just… Let's do another one."

On her lap, April's thumb is stroking her palm softly, a peace offering Leslie will gladly take in the midst of a seance she doesn't enjoy or understand.

"Okay, let's do this…"

The fingers move of their own accord again to form the next word.

"Y… O… U… R… E… C… U… T… E," April reads along with the motions. "You're cute."

 

"I think the board is defective," Orin says in his drawling voice Leslie hates so much.

 

"What?" April says in a fake surprised voice. "Of course not! It's just, erm, it's saying we're cute."

 

"Sure…" Natalie says.

 

Message after message, somehow Orin's face isn't as creepy as it was, the smell isn't as overwhelming anymore and it actually begins to be a little bit fun. "Cool hair", "Pretty eyes", "Female president", "Soft skin" are but a choice selection of all the messages the ghost has to say. April's hand never leaves hers and Leslie is enjoying herself a lot more than she expected. 

 

"This is dumb, April," Derek says after a while and his boyfriend agrees. 

 

"Yeah, kinda lame," the creepy girl says and stands up to leave.

 

Soon April and Leslie are the only ones left around the table and holding hands still feels as great openly as it did secretly.

 

"You didn't have to do this," Leslie says, but she's smiling.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," April says and stands up to hide her own smile, although Leslie's seen it. "Tea?"

 

"Yes, please."

 

April pours two cups of tea (they're really chipped mugs that have seen better days, but they're in college, you're not supposed to have good cups) and hesitates for a second.

 

"Four sugars, right?"

 

"And whipped cream, if you have any."

 

"You're weird," April snorts.

 

"If loving sweet things is weird, then I suppose I am, yes."

 

"I never said I didn't like sweet things," April retorts when she hands her the cup of tea.

 

"Oh yeah? What about that poster that literally says "Bitter = better" on your wall?"

 

"Well, I like you," she says and drinks a huge gulp of tea to avoid looking at Leslie. How smooth.

 

"You're pretty sweet yourself," Leslie says and adds a couple of sugar cubes to her tea. Only four? What was she thinking?

 

"What? No I'm not!"

 

"Yes, you are, and I like you for it," Leslie says and presses a kiss against April's cheek.

 

April toys with her cup, takes another sip, before turning back to Leslie, her eyes looking at some far away point that is definitely _not_ Leslie's eyes.

 

"I like you too," she mumbles but Leslie is too flattered to make her repeat properly.

 

"Well then, I wonder what the spirit will have to say about _you_ next time."

 

As it turns out, the next time is right then and there, and it doesn't involve so much tile moving as direct compliments and a lot of making out. If that's what she's in for, Leslie is all right with spirit hunting much more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	12. Picking out treats for handing out (Traegerkins)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann and Chris discuss what treats to give out to trick-or-treaters.

"Oh. My. _God_. Chris, you did it again!"

 

When Ann steps into the living room, candy bowl in hand, Chris is doing chin-ups on the bar he had installed between the living room and his office, but as soon as he sees her getting angry, he stops and looks at her quizzically.

"Did what?"Bare torso, wearing his really short shorts he uses for exercising at home, Chris looks like a Greek god, but Ann is not about to do anything about _that_ right now. Not with a candy bowl full of these atrocities."You put veggie cookies in the candy bowl! We're supposed to hand out treats for trick-or-treaters from this!""Oh yes, I bought these from the new health food store next to Leslie's music school. They are _excellent_.""Not for trick-or-treaters!""Now, that's ridiculous, they're good for everyone! They're filled with fibers!""Kids don't care!""And you think they _shouldn't_ be encouraged to have a healthier diet?""God, Chris, this is exactly what happened at Oliver's birthday!"

 

Completely stressed out, she slumps onto the couch and reaches into the bawl for a cookie — but after one bite she remembers that they are veggie cookie, smell of cabbage and taste like semi-digested kale. She spits it out disgustedly. 

 

"What do you mean?" He asks and sits next to her carefully, taking a cooking and eating it like it's the best treat he's ever had.

 

"You remember when we invited all these kids and you were supposed to get the cake?"

 

"Ah, yes," he says and smiles fondly. "Delicious cabbage soufflé… One of my best ones, I have to admit."

 

"It was green, Chris! Kids don't want to eat a green cake!"

 

"Nonsense! It was the perfect amount of nutrients for an afternoon snack."

 

Ann shakes her head in disbelief. Sometimes, she thinks she's never going to make Chris change. Never ever. 

 

"No one ate it cause I had to buy a normal cake from the store in emergency!"

 

"Ann Perkins, don't you want the children to eat healthy?"

 

There he goes again, serving her that argument. Every time.

 

"This isn't about this. I don't want our son to be a social pariah!"

 

That seems to actually make him think. 

 

"Are you suggesting he might be?"

 

"I'm suggesting that everyone will know his house is the lame house with the icky cookies, yes."

 

"Why would anyone believe that?"

 

"Kids like real cookies, Chris! They like candy. They don't like greens, and they don't like weird food."

 

"Is there anything that we can do about that?"

 

"We can start by giving them _normal candy_ for Halloween, yeah."

 

He seems to ponder on that, then grabs the bowl from her hand gently and stands up to open a drawer in the cupboard she had no idea even existed.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

He takes out a small box, looking guilty.

 

"I think I may have a compromise."

 

"… I'm listening."

 

"I've never told you about this box before… This is my stash of sugar-free cookies."

 

"Whaaaaat?" She fakes shock. "Chris Traeger, eating cookies!"

 

He looks down sheepishly. 

 

"Yeah. They're only for my sad days."

 

"Awwww."

 

"How about we hand them out to the kids? They're not as good as the vegan cookies but I think they might still enjoy them."

 

"That's… actually a pretty good idea."

 

"Thank you!" He says and gives her one of his bright smiles.

 

He puts the cookies in the bowl, clearly happy with his idea.

 

"Can I go back to my chin-ups now?"

 

"Mmh, yeah, sure," Ann says and sits down on the couch to watch him. 

 

"Ann Perkins?"

 

"Hey, you had your guilty pleasure with your sugar-free cookies. Let me have mine."

 

He starts pulling himself up again and quite frankly, Ann believes this is the best treat of all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


	13. Making candy apples (Andy/April + Triplets)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April's life is a little too clean, a little too proper, a little too normal.

"Careful,  _careful_!"  
  
Sometimes, April feels like the word has become the one thing she says the most in the course of a day. With three crazy kids as Leslie's, the whole house would be in rumbles before long if she didn't.   
  
"Don't worry, babe!" Andy giggles, his arms stretched above his head, making Sonia fly up high in the air. "I'm  _super_  careful!"  
  
Just as he says that, his footstep stumbles and he misses a step. Her heart clenches but he immediately gets back on his feet and laughs − there is no way to tell if it was a joke or an accident.   
  
"I wanna!" Stephen shrieks and holds up his arms, and for a second, April is nervous Andy might try to make the both of them fly at the same time − something Leslie specifically warned against after last time. Thank god he sets down Sonia before grabbing her brother into a tickle fight that turns into a space trip around the room (which is the moon now) and, from the couch, looking even tinier than he is between the big cushions, Wesley is giggling like a maniac.   
  
From the kitchen, April is watching over them. It's not that she really needs to − Andy is very good with the triplets, and no kid has ever been truly injured under their roof. Although April wonders if no one was ever injured because she's keeping an eye out.   
  
"Auntie April!" Wesley suddenly pulls on her leg with his tiny toddler hand and April loves his precious little voice − not that she'll ever admit to liking (loving) baby voices. He's holding up his arms with that big smile of his that always gets her and she picks him up, balancing his tiny little body on one hip as she's still stirring the fudge with her other arm. His thumb in his mouth, Wesley is so cute she could just eat him up.  
  
"We're making candy apples," she tells him and she loves that, at two and a half years old, the triplets are pretty much smart enough to just get whatever adults tell them. Eww, she realizes she just thought of herself as an adult. That's no good. There is nothing adult about her, even though she wears expensive clothes, has a nice and clean home that they renovated last year, at least a dozen real plates and she's worried about kids' safety now. That stuff doesn't make you an adult, does it?  
  
"Can I?" Wesley asks hopefully, his words slurred by his thumb still in his mouth. He's clutching her back with his other hand and nestles against her, a sweet bundle of joy. Thank god he's got all of Leslie's smiles.   
  
"We're gonna eat them together later," she answers. "It's too hot for little triplets right now."  
  
She's googled the recipe for candy apples earlier. Something she thought she'd never do. Before, the only things she ever googled were sexy stuff for her and Andy, and cool pranks ideas. But the past couple years, she's been googling how to find cheap paint, how to sew, how to do so many things that are lame when she thinks about them, but have become things she had to know. Most recently, how to make candy apples for Leslie's kids for their pre-Halloween kids party.  
  
It's supposed to be boring and lame, and she's supposed to be hating everything about it, but when they do dip the apples in the fudge (Andy makes the triplets promise they won't put their fingers in the hot brownish mess) and then let them cool down and eat one each afterwards, and April wipes the sugar off their chin (Andy included), it doesn't really feel all that weird. It feels like a day well spent.   
  
There's something naggy here that begs to unfurl and make her feel bad about something, but for just now, she enjoys the feelings. She just enjoys Andy trying to sneak into the kitchen and take another apple when they've stated that they're keeping those for the kids party tonight, Wesley dropping his and Stephen sharing with him, enjoys watching all four of them play until the moment Ben comes to pick them up. Later, she'll wonder why she's cleaning the kitchen (they use never to clean it up and let Ben do it, but he's moved out years ago), why they go walk Champion at seven every night, why the bed is made more days than it isn't, why things are just running smooth when they used to be chaotic. For now, she enjoys the slightly-too-proper life she's beginning to have and just lives it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback.


End file.
